The Power of Resilience
This article was previously featured on Medium.
Here is a quote I came across recently:
"Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce." -Vivian Komori
Resilience. It’s hard to count all the times I’ve had to call on it in my life and when I do, I’m reminded of its importance to wellbeing and success.
I should point out that I’m not suffering the traumatic stress and grief so many others are experiencing right now. I’m very thankful to be so fortunate. And this is not a message to indicate that resilience is the quick salve for all wounds and that after a major tragedy or debilitating setback, we ought to be able to immediately pick ourselves up and get back on the path. Sometimes we just need time to process and heal ourselves first.
Yet, when we do experience life’s losses and let downs of any degree, resilience is the key factor to get us back on our feet after that initial feeling of loss. It helps us succeed when circumstances aren’t in our favor. It allows us to “keep the faith” and carry on despite setbacks.
What happens when you’re resilient? You gain motivation to overcome roadblocks and find ways to persevere and succeed no matter what. The fact is that we all fail at times in life. We are all dealt harsh blows—often unfair ones. It’s an inevitable part of the human experience. Resilience is the ability to bounce back from these moments and continue striving. It’s a crucial element to accomplishing what you want in work and life, and for experiencing happiness!
I bet that you can point to any successful individual and find a deep well of resilience within that person.
What happens when you have low reserves of resilience? Perhaps you:
Pivot too soon from a great idea once something goes awry
Beat yourself up with negative self-thoughts based on disappointments you’ve experienced
Play out situations over and over in your mind wishing you’d done something differently
Lose faith in yourself and your dreams
Fall into a rut . . . and for much longer than you’d like
Decide to just give up
These responses are normal as short-term reactions to adversity. What’s important is to catch yourself before letting them linger and before taking drastic measures without careful consideration, so you can stay on track with your goals and the direction you’ve set for your life.
So, how do we build resilience? We can begin by looking at its source. Based on my experience and research, resilience stems from positivity. It’s the main ingredient in resilience.
One thing we know from neuroscience is that our brains are designed to process thoughts and information efficiently, which means that we often see what we expect to see. The author Anais Nin wrote, “We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.”
When we think negatively about a situation, another person, or ourselves, we naturally find the negative points that exist, because the brain is wired to see things based on our mindset—how we routinely view the world around us. Conversely, when we think positively, we are primed to see the positive in others, ourselves, and our circumstances.
Think about this: how we view adversity and stress strongly affects our experiences and outcomes from it. For example, if you view a set-back as purely negative without looking for the positive, i.e., the opportunities and learnings it generates, you will tend to take action from that negative mindset, typically achieving a far less than desirable outcome. But if you instead catch yourself in negative thoughts and take time to consider positive aspects of the situation, you will more likely take actions that better reflect your end-goals and values. Makes sense, right?
Psychiatrist Viktor Frankl embodied a truly inspirational and unbelievably strong example of positive mindset in his memoir, Man’s Search for Meaning. In it, Frankl recounts his experiences surviving the atrocities of Nazi concentration camps. But, his book is less about his suffering and more about his strength to survive. He looked to the positives as hard as that is to imagine. He thought about his wife and leaned on the hope of seeing her again. He dreamed of teaching after the war on the learnings from his experience. Frankl believed that suffering itself was meaningless, but that we give it meaning by the way in which we respond to it. He wrote:
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
This is obviously an extreme example, but it illustrates that there are extraordinary advantages in cultivating a positive mindset!
And, when we talk about positivity, it’s about viewing ourselves in positive ways as well. Being kind to yourself is just as important as maintaining a positive view point on challenging circumstances. Don’t let your inner critic expound on your shortcomings and berate your abilities. Stay aware of negative thoughts, challenge their truth, and reframe them in ways that will enhance your resilience, among other healthy benefits! You can read more on how to do this here.
It’s important to point out that changing attitudes and increasing resilience takes time and intentionality. But cultivating a more positive outlook is a worthwhile, if not critical starting point. It can help you bounce back, stay on track, and achieve far more of what you want in work and life!
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If you want to focus more on learning about your mindset and how to use it as a way to achieve better outcomes in your life, schedule a complimentary call with me or reach out with questions.
